oh. finally.
guess spiders'd already form webs all around my blog tho.
sexy back. yup! =)
back to topic.
dealing with feelings. have u ever felt left out? well, not just those feeling left out because u cant join in the cliques, no body wants to play with u n those. i know Everyone feels left out by friends once in a while. but this time is not the same. mainly is about self-esteem i guess. have u ever found your self hide away from others just because ur not smart enuf, not pretty enuf, not out standing enuf, ur english wasnt good enuf to mix with them. yisssshh! hate that feeling. n yet, worse part, even the person ur closest with are not by urside. yuanteng felt left out, and the feeling was hurtful. wut else? i have to continue to smile...
i know my self-esteem wasnt that low. but its just that moment im feeling that way. i just cant think that im beautiful at that moment. keep beating myself up over my weaknesses, comparing myself to others. im wondering how could this happenned. to me. -.- the feelings were taking over me. i wonder why.
or this may be karma. lol
back in school, especially in primary..(high school oso got abit.. bit.. lah)
i always have my own cliques in school. n we can be very mean over some little small stuff!!! and quite hurtful in the way we treat other so-called friends who aren't in our cliques. Sometimes we just left out some friends because they look, act, or dress differently from us. and we just want to be popular and feel cool. -.- lol we always get the best treatment from teachers, or get the best room n activities in class trips. we just dun care about others. even the bench we used to sit on during recess is only for us. but wait.. before u get me wrong, let me get u right 1st. altho i have this kinda cliques but we are not those big bullies okie. we still treat other friends nicely. =) we still talk to them, invite them to parties n all that. and yea, i believe everyone are like that when their young right? we choose friends according who they are, but not what they did. lol so realistic!
okie, enuf of story time, thats schooling time tho.
believe me, im better now, just not perfect.
close to perfect, can?
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3 comments:
totally understoooood. while reading this post, kind of "yea yea yea"... lol you're better than me in expressing yourself. i should learn from you ^-^
hey! no lar.. u noe how long i try to express myself for this post? (in english samor)
U can express feeling very well la, n u can identify how n wut u feel. its just that we are trained to express ourselves in chinese from young. so its a little difficult. believe me, U are well trained to identify feelings! X) glad that someone act knoe wut im trying to say! is like u get it, u get it. u dont means forget it, u wont understand no matter how many times u re-read right?
yeap i do understand. lol i'm trying very hardly not to forget the way to express myself. scare one day that i'll remain speechless no matter how i feel. Happy means happy, sad means sad. I want to express it out no matter how many ppl that is actually understanding me. by the way, i know you will be one of them. lol stay cute!!! ^.-
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